It wasn’t until the big dipper was upside down that I realized I was pouring all of myself into this place. As people, we have such an immense capacity to grow not just to change and to find ourselves comfortable in a completely different world. I can remember after a weekend trip to Glasgow while I was studying abroad, Michael and I had talked about the idea of “home”. Upon pulling into the train station in Edinburgh I said aloud, “It feels good to be home.” I had been living in Edinburgh for about two months at that point. I will never forget what he said on the walk back to our accommodation with all the friends I had made,
“Home with a capital H and home with a lower case h.” It was such a large perception shift for me, someone who can never sit still for long. The girl with multiple homes. I could be that girl. The home with a capital H will always be where my family is, where my friends are. Ohio and New Hampshire… the places where my heart made its largest imprint and where my moments of true comfort have been. And I know that eventually there will be another Home with a capital H. It may not be here in Thailand and I may not find it for a while yet but eventually I will get there.
For now, Koh Samui, my home with the small h is fitting for me for another two weeks. The stars may be upside down and the people may not speak my language but there is kindness here. The screech of children running down the beach, the smell of fresh laundry, the woman from my frequently visited restaurant learning my name, and the nuzzle of a cat’s soft head against my hand are all things that are the same no matter where you go. The comfort you seek in people rather than in the place you’re in.
I have another two weeks on this beautiful and strange island until I will graduate this intensive course and be certified to teach English as a foreign language. Even now I know that I will miss the vibrancy of the people I have met along this short journey. Some of them I will travel with to my new destination and my new job. I will be teaching kindergarten in a Buddhist school outside of Bangkok, in a small city called Chachengsao. I am thrilled about this next step and what it will bring.
For now, though, I am happy to be exploring this patch of land. After a wonderful and rainy Friday tour revisiting the intricacies of golden temples and the white sand of secret beaches. Then followed by a near perfect Saturday night, a girl’s night of dancing, laughing and eating delicious chicken kebab in the back of a song taew (the flat bed of a truck transformed into a two-bench taxi). Here’s to the adventure and to more research on Buddhism!
With love and wanderlust,
The Exuberant Traveler